It’s been hard to avoid the recent chat of Kate, Will and little Prince Louis. So much has been focussed on the fact Kate had to get glammed up and step out to the world media so soon after the birth. Yes, I think it was too soon and yes I did feel a bit sorry for her. Does it place too much pressure on others to do the same? I’m not sure, really. I mean, we’re not all Royal Princesses are we? I just hope her and Louis got home and instated on the sofa in front of the telly with the remote control, biscuits, breast feeding pillow and ibuprofen at arm’s length very soon after THAT pic was taken.
All the chat and buzz around the Royal baby actually made me think a lot about those who, like Kate and Will, go on to have more than 2 kids. I remember the time I announced the pregnancy of my second baby. It was somewhat of a shock because it happened so very soon after my first (she was only 3 months old). There were a few key phrases I heard again and again….”haven’t you heard of contraception?!” and “was it planned?!” being the favourites.
I wondered how it felt for those going on to baby number 3 and beyond. Did it feel much different to their previous kids? Were there phrases they heard again and again too? I was intrigued! I asked my pals and community with more than 2 kids, and this is what they said…
“I generally just get told I have my hands full, but I did have an older lady in Waitrose tell me I had her deepest sympathy! I didn't really know how to respond to that!” – Kristina Van Egmond
“We got ‘was it planned?’ a lot and ‘are you joking?’, lots of comments about being outnumbered, definitely less cards and gifts (not that I was fussed about that), and people seem to think that because you’ve got three you’re just going to continue popping them out. NOT A CHANCE.” – Ruth Parfitt.
“When people find out that my oldest is a 15 year old girl (was 14), they automatically assume she will be a “mother’s helper” for me. No way! She’s a kid! And I don’t expect her to do the mum’s role!” – Laila Quick
“With daughter number 3 I had an old lady actually say to her as a new baby and in front of both my older girls, “were you supposed to be a boy?” before asking me “will you try again?”, spotting my 8 week postpartum bump and saying “Oh gosh, are you already pregnant again?” – Nikki Gibson
“’Does your telly not work??’ That's probably the one I hear most. I've also started getting people thinking my youngest is actually my eldest's child!” – Antonia Garnett-Clarke
Thanks so much to those that contributed to this! It always surprises me how flippant and rude strangers can be with their comments!
It can be easy to assume that those having more than 2 kids must be total pros; experts who have it all sewn up (no pun intended!!), but this is clearly not the case. They deserve as much love, recognition and support as those having their first. I mean, balancing more than 2 kids must be SO hard, right?! Two is hard enough for me. And yeah, maybe they do have all the baby stuff already so a new gift is hard to buy, but that doesn't mean the don't desreve one. WHAT ABOUT MUM especially? She surely deserves more of a treat than ever…she’ll have experienced OVER TWO YEARS abstinence in her life of all the yummy stuff denied in pregnancy….so surely she deserves a new mum hamper from us?? You know it makes sense. x
Sally Bunkham is the founder of mumsback.com, gifts for new mums focussing on the yummy stuff denied in pregnancy. £1 from every hamper sold goes to support the fabulous work of PANDAS Foundation.